San Francisco Photos 5

I took an early morning trip up to the University of San Francisco. It is strange to think that this small school has won two NCAA basketball titles (1955 & 1956) and one NIT title (1949). But let's not forget that this is where Hall of Fame center Bill Russell played. The doors to War Memorial Gymnasium were open and I took advantage.
If you think the basketball success is impressive, try this on for size. Four NCAA men's soccer championships for the Dons of USF (1966, 1975, 1976, 1980). They actually won another in 1978, but they had to vacate the title because of the use of an ineligible player. This is a nice little soccer facility named for the man that made those championship seasons possible, Steve Negoesco.
Pablo: Say Hey! Jeffrey: Oh joy, it's Pablo and, uh... Semolina: It's Semolina, dumbass! J: Oh, I get it, like Semolina Pilchard from "I Am The Walrus", right? S: You're a walrus? J: Sorry, I forgot who I am dealing with. Anyway, Pablo, whether you know it or not, your greeting was appropriate. Here we are in front of PacBell Park, home of the San Francisco Giants. There is a statue of the Say Hey Kid himself, Willie Mays.
J: At the end of Market Street is the Ferry Building in the Embarcadero.
J: Believe it or not, I saw Kirstie Alley unloading wicker chairs and spice candles from a ship at the dock. S: No you didn't! J: No it's a joke. See, this is Pier 1, just like that place in the mall. S: That Kirstie Alley sure has gotten fat. I mean she has to hide behind tables and stuff in those commercials. How did she look when you saw her? P: Man, she's might not be all that smart but she is a hot piece of... J: Got it. Kind of like Jessica Simpson, right?
J: The Short and Winding Road. This section of Lombard Street is known as the "Crookedest Street in the World". I've thought about why that might be. This block is rather steep, so perhaps they made it like this so that vehicles don't go flying down the street. Sort of an alternate version of a speed bump. The homes that line this street and in the Russian Hill District are quite expensive. S: Ooh, honey, we should live here. J: Pablo, what do you do for a living? P: I'm a freelance imaginary friend. J: A lot of money in that? P: Eh, it's an imaginary living.
J: The view from Russian Hill to Telegraph Hill. That is Coit Tower and our next destination.
J: It is quite a climb up Telegraph Hill. I was knackered after trudging up to the tower. S: Did you say something about my knockers? J: No, knackered, as in exhausted. P: They are nice though, huh? J: Yes, she has points all her own sitting way up high. Way up firm and high. P: Oh no, not more songs I've never heard of.
J: I see other people taking arty-type photos of obscure views of things, so I thought I'd give it a shot. This is the sky from the top of the Coit Tower. I don't think it's going to win any awards.
J: Yet another panoramic view. Except for the glare from the glass, it's a pretty good view of the downtown area and the Embarcadero. The pointy structure on the right foreground is the TransAmerica Building.
J: The Bay Bridge, the Golden Gate's older, less attractive sister. You may remember that the upper part of a section of this bridge collapsed on top of the lower section below in the 1989 quake. S: I got an older sister you could meet. Her name is Lavoris. She's not as pretty as me, but she's just as easy. J: Pablo? P: Man, you don't want any part of that. She looks like she's been hit repeatedly in the face with a bag of wrenches. And believe it or not, Lina's the smart one.
J: Fisherman's Wharf and the bay.
J: Somewhere down there is where North Beach and Chinatown meet. I had a great piece of veal at a place called Viva in the Italian section of town. Semolina, you might be interested to know that my waiter looked like the stereotypical handsome Italian waiter that women drool over in television commercials. S: Pablo, baby, can we go there tonight? P: Why you want some little Italian spaghetti when you can have a big Mexican burrito? J: All right, keep your burrito to yourself there, Taco Bill.
J: Grant Avenue, San Francisco, California, U.S.A. Looks down from Chinatown over a foggy bay. This song got stuck in my head for quite some time after being here. S: What song? P: Oh, knowing him it's probably from some fruity musical. J: It is from a musical, but it's not fruity. Well, not too fruity. Flower Drum Song was my senior musical. I played in the orchestra when I filled in for the regular French horn player who couldn't make it one night. Come on, sing with me! You can't have a new way of living... S: Pablo, I'm scared. P: I know, baby, I know. Just humor him.
J: One of the side streets in Chinatown. There is a body massage place there on the right. S: Me love you long time. J: Um, no thanks. I don't know where you've been. P: Hey! J: Oops, sorry. P: Aah, that's okay. You're probably right. S: Hey!
J: Japantown is smaller and less gaudy than Chinatown. I guess there was a larger emigration from China to California than there was from Japan. In fact, some of the businesses in Japantown were Korean.
J: Taking advantage of a $15 three-day MUNI pass, I traveled on just about every kind of conveyance short of rickshaw. Here is one of the F-Line trolley cars, which I might add also came from Philadelphia.
J: I couldn't help but notice the juxtaposition of the two restaurant signs. S: Just a what? J: Juxtapo...oh forget it. I think a lot of men think of the old In-N-Out when they see Hooters girls. P: Lina used to work at Hooters but she got fired. S: I was flashing my tits for tips. J: I bet they were big ones. S: They still are, see? And they're real. J: Congratulations, now it's time to put them away.
J: These are some of the old coin-operated novelties they have in the Musée Mécanique. There is the Gypsy Queen, a "professional basket ball game" and a rare old Swiss music box. S: Hey, that puppet looks like Lavoris. J: Yeesh! P: Told you, man.
J: We'll wrap things up here at the Hyde Street Pier. They have on exhibit several type of vessels of historic significance to San Francisco, such as a square-rigger, a ferry and steam and paddlewheel tugboats. It is part of the San Francisco Maritime National Historical Park. S: It's not that funny to me. J: Historical, not hysterical. S: It sure isn't. I'm leaving. P: Yeah, I gotta go too. J: Then we'll end this trip to the City by the Bay.